Say Uncle
From Wikipedia:
In the United States, the expression "say Uncle" or just "uncle" may be used to indicate submission, such as when wrestling, or a cry for mercy in a game.
And in my married life of twenty years - a lifetime ago....I had to say it so often.
But it taught me so much.
An expression that my perpetrator (abusive ex-husband) always demanded, a submission, a begging for mercy as he abused me...he would not stop until I said "Uncle."
The very first time he did this to me, we were not even married. We were watching television on his parents' bed, in their bedroom (they were away for the weekend). He pulled down their bedspread, pushing me under the top sheet of their bedding. He covered my entire body under that sheet, including my head. And he farted under the sheet as I was trapped in it - over and over again - my cries to stop, my struggle to get free - ignored. And then he said it.
The command was "say Uncle." If I said it, he would stop farting on me and let me go.
Crying, I said Uncle.
It didn't end there. All this transpired after he had raped me, as I already felt branded, shamed, and unworthy of better treatment. More about that at another time.
As I mentioned, this is the reason for my title here and on the memoir, I am completing. I have a story to tell.
And no matter what my life has encountered, what adversity I face, what pain I endure, I promise myself to stand up, speak up - and break the silences.
I think of the four grandchildren my ex-husband and my adult alienated sons will not let me meet. And I am writing for those children. I want them to know how much I wish they knew I existed.
I will not say Uncle to cancer, to parental alienation, to abuse, nor any other challenge. This warrior is here to stay.
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