Today's Trigger

You always hear people say, "leave the past in the past."

 But if you have any sort of trauma in your past, life doesn't work that way.  Especially with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Today, as I scrolled through Facebook, I came across an ignorant comment from an intelligent woman, a writer.  She actually wrote, "love can be violent and delicious."

I immediately felt a pit in my stomach and a tremendous surge of anger.  And let me tell you it takes alot to push my buttons.  I've been in therapy for years trying to connect with anger that I hold within me - since it was literally beaten out of me for years through domestic violence and conditioning.

Have you ever felt two very strong emotions at once?  So strong they could knock you over?  I thought I'd puke. I literally had to take a screenshot of it because I couldn't believe it's reality.  And then I thought of how this woman who made such a statement has a young daughter....

I usually have one of two reactions to triggers.  I dissociate, ignoring what is triggering my trauma, or what I've learned to do to keep sane - I stand up to it.  Tall and strong.  I use my voice.

I replied to this woman that her comment was awful and that obviously she had never been raped or abused.

But all I kept thinking about was her young daughter.  Would anyone teach a young girl that "love can be violent and delicious?"

I know I didn't always teach my sons the lessons I truly think they should have learned.  Their role model was an abusive father.  But I did always say "don't be like your father."  Unfortunately...they did not heed my words.  Seeing their mother physically, emotionally and financially abused was their lesson in life.  My bad.

I beg every mother of every girl out there - please teach your daughters that love shouldn't hurt.