Mothers Not in the Media

Famous mothers, celebrity mothers, instagram mothers, even presidential mothers…The media loves to cover them and to expose them. Whether they like it or not.The media does not cover the women who have lost custody battles to perpetrators of domestic violence. Their abusers are almost never exposed. The children in these cases are damaged, their lives stained forever. Some of those lost children grow up to be abusive in their own right.

Over and over again, these children are torn from the arms of a loving parent-their mothers.When will you read of Debbie, Rachel, Susan, Maria, and hundreds of others who have lost their children in a court system that enables such injustice? Probably never. And the silence is breaking them.In our judicial system of today, powerful men, dominating men, are able to use the court system as a weapon. Tragically, they are able to use their children as ammunition.

The media doesn't know the women that have fallen victims to our courts. We should read about the personal enfolding of celebrity moms, professional athletes' spouses, and other characters that are deemed of high interest to the public. Or so they say. When do we read of the other mothers?

No one wants to report on the woman whose husband repeatedly raped his 5 year old daughter. That man was then given sole custody of the young girl, as the woman could not fight the court battle laid out before her. Who would want to read of the woman whose husband broke every bone in her face, over a period of years? He was then given custody of the children who witnessed this horror. 

In another case, a forensic psychologist stated (as in photo below) that he was of the professional opinion that two boys had observed their father being psychologically and physically abusive towards their mother. Documentation regarding physical abuse of the mother was evidenced. Then the judge deciding this particular custody dispute awarded sole custody of the two boys to the father.

When this woman sought safety prior to the divorce dispute, her husband warned her that she would never see her children again. After custody was "awarded" to this male perpetrator, the mother never had a relationship with her sons again. A judge looked her in the eye and told her that just because her husband had raped and beaten her, it did not mean he couldn't be a good father. 

Not understanding the court's irrational instructions, she contacted newspapers, radio stations, and magazines. In our wonderful United States of America, there was not a single reporter that would come to her aid. No one wanted to speak of her story, her life....It was her own, never to be shared. Her silence was expected and demanded. This was me. And I am healing out loud because the silence almost killed me.

Because courts did not protect us nor understand (or want to recognize) the capabilities of an evil narcissistic abuser in a divorce court….my two sons were brainwashed to hate me.  This was orchestrated by their father. Because he had the opportunity as awarded by the Court.  He had full “soul” custody. The judge did not even enforce a visitation schedule which my ex sabotaged. Alienated now for two decades, both my sons, having grown to be alienated adults, have taken on their father’s behaviors and personality traits.

This could have been prevented.

In our country that promises protection and justice, judges are awarding custody to men with violent histories. Women that have made their children a priority, are left childless. Many times, these women turn to the media for assistance...only to be turned away.

My case was years ago, with legal abuse keeping me in court for over 15 years.

But this is still happening today.

These are the mothers not found in the media. Reporters refuse to reply to coverage requests, as judges are never held accountable for their poor and damaging decisions. If these cases are told to the public, how are they remedied? Perhaps this is why reporters run from such stories. Rather than ignore such tragedies, it seems that finding an answer would be a much better conclusion. In order for there to be a solution to many of these horror stories, the stories themselves must be told. Bullied and emotionally battered by judicial figureheads, the mothers not mentioned in the media must be heard. They need a voice. We need a voice.

If you are reading these words, that proves there is hope. It says things can get a little bit better. This is all being told from a mother who lost her children in a court of law to the abuser; my children were weaponized; I am a mother not found in the media.